Many people struggle to cope at one point or another of their lives. Reaching out to someone could help them know that someone cares, that they are valued, and help them access the support they need.
Everyone copes and reacts in their own way, but here are some general signs to look out for. For some people, several of these signs might apply – for others just one or two, or none.
Signs to look out for
- Feeling restless and agitated
- Feeling angry and aggressive
- Feeling tearful
- Being tired or lacking in energy
- Not wanting to talk to or be with people
- Not wanting to do things they usually enjoy
- Using alcohol or drugs to cope with feelings
- Finding it hard to cope with everyday things
- Not replying to messages or being distant
- Talking about feeling hopeless, helpless or worthless
- Talking about feeling trapped by life circumstances they can’t see a way out of, or feeling unable to escape their thoughts
- A change in routine, such as sleeping or eating more or less than normal
- Engaging in risk-taking behaviour, like gambling or violence
You might not always be able to spot these signs. These emotions may be more difficult to spot if you’re seeing less of the people you’re close to.
It can also be useful to identify circumstances that can trigger suicidal thoughts or make it hard for someone to cope.
Situations to look out for
- loss, including loss of a friend or a family member through bereavement
- suicide or attempted suicide of family member, friend or public figure
- relationship and family problems
- housing problems
- financial worries
- job-related stress
- college or study-related pressures
- bullying, abuse or neglect
- loneliness and isolation
- challenging current events
- depression
- painful and/or disabling physical illness
- heavy use of or dependency on alcohol or other drugs
Again, these may not apply to everyone who is struggling, but they can be useful to look out for.
2. What to do if you think someone is struggling
Many people worry that reaching out will be intrusive or make things worse. You’ll soon be able to tell if the person you’re speaking to isn’t comfortable or doesn’t want to have that kind of conversation. If they don’t want to open up, you’ll still have let them know you’re there for them.
Once someone starts to share how they’re feeling, it’s important to listen. This could mean not offering advice, not trying to identify what they’re going through with your own experiences and not trying to solve their problems. We’ve compiled some listening tips to help you give the best support you can.2. What to do if you think someone is struggling
3. Supporting someone online
If you’re worried about someone online because of the way they’re acting or the things that they’re posting, you can:
- offer them support if you feel comfortable
- tell someone you trust
- report it on the platform they’re using so they can provide support.
We all experience not being okay different, but some signs to look out for are:
- posting messages that worry you
- posting detailed or graphic messages about self-harm or suicide
- posting graphic pictures or videos about self-harm or suicide
Some phrases or themes to watch out for in online messages are things like:
- I want to give up
- No-one would notice if I wasn’t here
- I hate myself
Not everyone who is struggling to cope will use these phrases, and some people might not be posting or messaging at all.
Reporting content and getting support for users
If you think a user is struggling or is posting messages about self-harm and suicide, it’s always helpful to flag it with the platform so that they can get in touch with them to provide support.
What content should be reported:
- Posts or comments that describe a method of self-harm or suicide
- Graphic images or videos that show wounds or methods of hurting yourself
- Posts or comments encouraging self-harm or suicide
Reporting content is really important to help the user get support and to keep other users safe online. Most platforms have a function where you can report content. If you’re unsure or have questions about how to report content, visit Report Harmful Content.
What if they won’t accept my help?
If someone won’t accept your help, you can:
- Say where they can find help if they change their mind
- Report the post to the platform
- Encourage them to talk to someone
- Encourage them to reach out if they change their mind
- Check in on them later if you feel able to
- Remind them that things can change
If there’s someone you’re worried about and they’re self-isolating, or their support network is self-isolating, it is important to try to check in through the channel you normally use to chat to them to make sure they’re okay.
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4. When you should let someone else help
If the person you are worried about is in immediate danger, for example if they have hurt themselves, call an ambulance on 999. This is the quickest way to get help, but we can call an ambulance on your behalf, if you prefer.
Where to get help
If they have feelings of anxiety, depression or if they’re feeling unwell in other ways – it could be a good idea for them to talk to their GP. A doctor can help them understand what they’re feeling, and help find longer term treatment, like therapy or medication. You can find their local GP here.
6. Looking after yourself
Supporting someone who is struggling can be distressing.
It’s important for you to make sure you’re okay too. It’s okay to decide that you are no longer able to help someone and to let them know you won’t be contactable for a while.
If supporting someone is affecting you, we’re here to listen. No pressure, no judgement. Whatever you’re going through, call us free any time, from any phone, on+44 7386 457943